Date a Vampire? Heck Yeah?!

By Diana Laurence, author of How to Catch and Keep a Vampire: A Step-by-Step Guide to Loving the Bad and the Beautiful

I’m delighted to be visiting Reading with a Bite today! And I hope you don’t mind if I use this opportunity to get myself out of a little hot water. With vampires. So it’s kind of urgent.

Here’s the back story: I was asked a few weeks ago by Glamour magazine to provide my answer to the question “Should you date a vampire?” Needless to say, I was thrilled to appear in Glamour talking about my book. Unfortunately, they required me to take the “no” position. I agreed somewhat trepidatiously to that, because I knew my vampire friends would not be pleased. But I figured Glamour had received the “yes” reply from someone smart enough to answer in a way that would not get them in trouble with the undead. I found out when the magazine came out that the “someone” was Charlaine Harris! Now I see why I got second choice!

Well, I did give a pretty backhanded reply for my “no” answer (“Being with one is no easy feat. Just try to focus on work during the day when you’re being transported to realms of ecstasy by his bite at night.”) Nevertheless, no is no, and I really need to set the record straight with the immortal community...before they decide they need to “teach me a lesson,” fang-wise.

So I’m here today to give you my complete and sincere recommendation: If you’ve been wanting to date a vampire, by all means, do it! Because, frankly, there are dozens of great reasons to want to date a vampire. I could rattle on about it all day. Let’s start with these:

He can look out of the tops of his eyes in that spine-tinglingly sexy manner.
He has a lair that would make HGTV’s toes curl, if it had toes.
He can hail a cab with a silent glance.
He’ll never cancel your date because he has a cold or is hungover.
And he bites. In a fun way. A really fun way.

I’m not saying that vampire dating is without its challenges and perils. If it were, I wouldn’t have had to write my book. Vampires do tend to give a girl or guy an inferiority complex. Giving them their way isn’t exactly a chore (the way they go about it, that is) but it can wear thin after awhile. They’re not exactly monogamous, in most cases. And some of them are pure evil.

So, there’s a lot you need to know to pull off a healthy and happy relationship with a vampire. My book shows you how to develop the various skills you’ll need: Like recognizing pure evil vampires and avoiding them. And not becoming completely obsessed with your vampire boyfriend or girlfriend (just the proper amount of obsessed). And explaining to others why there’s nothing wrong with associations with the undead.

Even if you don’t want to actually date a vampire, you’re simply trying to figure out why you love these nasty and lovely beings and what to do with your longings, my book will help with that too. Because no one should beat themselves up just because they constantly daydream about Edward or Bill or even Dracula himself. To my mind, such thoughts are as normal and healthy as the day is long. Or, if you prefer, the night.

So now you know my true opinion: And my dear Conner, Sven, Mordred, Colin, Gunnar, and the rest of the vampiric crew can be reassured that no one has the wrong idea about me. Tuck in those fangs, boys, I’ve cleared it all up now!

Please do ask for How to Catch and Keep a Vampire at your neighborhood bookstore (worldwide!) or order online, and find out for yourself about these undead charmers and all I’ve learned from them about vampire dating. And join me in an enthusiastic “Date a vampire? Heck yeah!”

To learn more about the book, visit http://www.howtocatchandkeepavampire.com/, http://www.dianalaurence.com/, or join the Facebook fan page at http://www.facebook.com/pages/How-To-Catch-and-Keep-a-Vampire/85381298406. It was a pleasure to be with you today, thanks for reading, and happy vampire dating!

The Vampire Survival Guide

While most of us love the mysterious and sexy vampire - who is sweet on the inside and a bad boy on the outside, chances are, if vampires existed they probably wouldn't be the type you would want to run way with. The Vampire Survival Guide: How to Fight, and Win, Against the Undead by Scott Bowen is here to do just as it promises - to fight and win against the undead.

On a side rant, before I continue, you will notice that Scott Bowen has no link attached to his name - because I could not find a blog, website, or a social networking site on him... which I think is inexcusable. There is no point these days for a business or author to not be available online. Free advertising! Ok. I'm done.

The Vampire Survival Guide is a fun, gimmicky book - one of those funny things you get a friend for a gift, scan through the pages reading about this or that and probably keep it on your bookshelf - probably not ever completely read through. Sadly, it is quite easy to give as a gift because it's selling price, new, on Amazon is $2.47. That being said, I will admit that I didn't read the whole thing page for page... I did scan through several times and read some entertaining excerpts. The book covers vampire anatomy and power structure through how to kill them, and is filled with random questions (like can a vampire dog bite my dog and turn it into a vampire dog too?). If I didn't already own this book I would buy it for $2.47. It's a good book for a vampire fan... not exactly 100% following popular myth and legend, but fun none-the-less. Here is an excerpt that I found entertaining (page 156):

Random Question: What if my spouse/significant other fantasizes about a relationship with a vampire?

Vampires have a strong sexual element, both in a literary sense and in person, assuming that the vampire in question looks a lot like Antonio Banderas in Interview with the Vampire or Monica Bellucci in Bram Stoker's Dracula (yeah, she was in that). Indeed, there will be some really hot vampires. Your spouse's fixation, however, could easily go beyond the imagination: He or she could desire some kind of self-destructive tryst with the undead.

Psychologists and psychotherapists will have all fled to their second homes in gated communities in Martha's Vineyard and the Caribbean, so finding professional help will be out of the questions. (Yes, some dedicated psychotherapists will stay in the country, and they'll be swamped with calls and will probably get turned into vampires anyway.) So, you'll have to deal with it yourself.

First, to what degree does your spouse fantasize? Is this a true fantasy, that is, does she know it's ludicrous, but indulges it in a wholly fantastical way? That's merely insulting, not real trouble (for now). Do what you can to shift her undead fantasies to the killer of the undead (you), and you'll find yourself getting some hot lovin'. Maybe dress a little more provocatively, and shoot vampires more than you need to (ammo store providing). Get a little aggressive. Show your passion. Cut off a vampire's head and nail it to the wall, and make sure your spouse sees you do it. She'll slowly realize that the desired fantasy figure is the person of action - a dangerous person (not an undead person) and you're it.

But if you spouse really has it in for a vampire, in a psychotic way, you might have to resort in some extralegal actions. This will involve duct tape. Figure it out.

I think most of us like the vampires capable of fulfilling our fantasies. Tomorrow tune in for a guest blog about why it's a good idea to date vampires.

Sunday Morning Comics

The Lost Boys: Reign of Frogs is a comic book that bridges the gap between Lost Boys and Lost Boys: The Tribe.

Click here to view the whole plot and details.

Saturday Halloween Costume Search - Lost Boys

Since so many people's vampire movie was Lost Boys, I thought it would be fun to do a Lost Boys costume search.

I thought David would be the best choice:

Here's his vampire face:

Lost Boys Contacts

Lost Boys Wig? Make sure the sides are slicked back...

Lost Boys Fangs

You can also get the facial prosthetics - two different types to chose from:

This one, and this one

Instructions for make up and tips. - don't forget the stubble too.

To top off the Lost Boys face look don't forget the gold dangly earring in the left ear. I have a hard time finding a detail, but I found this picture:

if you have your ear's pierced I would just find a cheap pair at Forever21, Walmart, or anywhere.

I found these for a few bucks at Forever21

Finish the look with your clothes: Black shirt, brown or dingy denim coat or shirt under the coat, and black overcoat, black pants and boots!

Enter to Win Friday - Take 2!

We have a lot of great prizes to win this month!

Here are some of our prize contributers:

Tiana Rutledge

Cute & Creepy

Velvet Brown Studio

Vampire Wire

Genella deGrey

Michelle Hauf

Nicole Hadaway

So to enter to win in the big giveway on October 31st leave a comment answering the following question:

What vampire scares you the most?

this can be from any movie, TV Show, book, etc.

I will be accepting entries until 11:59PM Sunday night (Pacific Time)

In the Presence of Saint Modwenna

Today's guest blogger book excerpt is from Andrew M. Boylan at Taliesin Meets the Vampires. Not only is he an author, and has a great movie and book review site, but I also love his rules of the game (devised from a list of research material). To read more from Andrew Boylan, head over to his sister site: Taliesin Writes the Vampires.

The following is an extract from Concilium Sanguinarius, actually chapter twenty, and has also been published as a stand alone in the zine Ethereal Tales.

Thanks Andrew - readers enjoy!


West Yorkshire, England – 1347


The campfire had just, grudgingly, flickered into life; the damp sticks producing as much smoke as they did light. The woman, a nun, knelt on the floor warming her hands whilst the two guards stood nearby grumbling to each other.

“Dame Startin,” the taller of the two guards addressed the woman, “begging yer pardon, but I’d ask you to reconsider. This forest ain’t safe.”

The woman shook her head and, silently, asked God for strength before replying. “Master Warder, I have left the title of Dame behind. I am the Prioress of Kirklees now.”

“As you say ma’m, but I’d still ask you to reconsider.” There seemed to be a small edge of panic or anxiety in the grizzled man’s voice.

“Master Warder, for better or for worse I fear that we are stuck in the forest until day breaks. I will not risk the horses by stumbling blind through the undergrowth.”

“But the inn is only two hours ride and ‘tis a lot safer than this ‘ere forest.” He insisted.

“The inn may as well be a hundred leagues distant if one of our mounts breaks a leg, and we have no need to fear the forest. The outlaws in Sherwood are centred around Nottingham and we are in Yorkshire. I doubt they will travel all this way to rob a penniless nun. Now will they?”

“Ma’m, the notorious brigands are to be found round Nottingham way, I grant you, but the forest is still thick with thieves, none-the-less.”

For a moment her voice carried the edge of her previous station in life. “Sir, I will broke no more discussion on the matter, we make camp here.” Her voice softened slightly before she added, “How long until we reach the priory if we ride at daybreak?”

Jack Warder groaned inaudibly, if she wanted to make good time to the priory they would not be stopping at the inn to break fast. “God willin’, we’ll be there by sunset tomorrow ma’m.”

Startin’s voice dropped into a mumble as she turned her attention back to the fire, “Good… good…” The discussion was over.

The guards moved out of earshot to confer.

“What do you make of it James?”

“It’s a rum ‘un, I’ll give you that,” replied the second guard, “But I can un’erstand it. A trip will lame a horse an’ that’ll slow us down on the morrow.”

“Not as much as ‘avin’ our throats cut.” Warder ran a dirt-encrusted finger menacingly across his throat to illustrate his point.

“Aye, you ‘ave a good point Jack lad, we’ll just ‘ave to keep a good watch.” James shrugged and then added, “As it is I ‘ave to make water, you make sure her ladyship don’t stray from the fire now.”

Neither guard noticed the shadow slipping through the trees, outside the light from the campfire.


James Goldborough watched his companion return to the campfire and then headed into the trees; he wanted to make sure he was out of sight of the camp. It wouldn’t do him any good to allow a lady of God to see him making water.

His friend’s concerns were well founded; the forest had become notorious in recent years. That said the Prioress was also right, most of the trouble was out round Nottingham. Thieves were not a localised problem though and caution was always needed. That was why Lord Grafton had insisted an armed guard escort the Prioress to her new position. Warder had been irritable through the entire journey, however, probably down to the fact that they’d had to take horses; he’d never been much of a horseman. If the truth was told neither of them were comfortable around the Prioress. She was a devout woman, of that there could be little doubt, but that also meant that when they stopped for the night, on the nights when they had stopped at inns, there had been no chance to play dice or get drunk or whore. Plenty of time for that on the way home though, James grinned to himself.

Once out of sight of the camp James lifted his padded aketon and dropped his hose. A relieved sigh escaped his mouth as the hot stream of urine splashed against the side of the oak.

He never saw the shadow creeping behind him, never knew it was there until two icy cold hands gripped his head. He managed a startled grunt before the hands twisted, snapping his neck and killing him instantly.

His body dropped softly to the floor, his own urine running back from the tree and pooling around his corpse, and the shadow slipped back into the night.



Jack Warder took off his kettle hat, placing it gently onto the floor so as not to disturb the Prioress, and then removed the padded coif that sat beneath it and scratched. The damned coif made his head itch. Probably full of lice, he thought, as he scratched furiously at his sweat-dampened hair.

The sooner they were out of the damn forest the better. He believed all he had said about outlaws true enough, but then there was the other thing. He hadn’t had the courage to mention it to the Prioress, she’d never believe him, nor to James for that matter, the younger guard would have laughed until he pissed himself. Jack knew better though, Jack knew the forest was haunted.

His cousin Ben had told him the stories. The tale of the White Lady who haunted the forest. Some said it was the ghost of a Saxon lady restless after the Normans had taken her husband’s lands and then raped and killed her a few hundred years back.

Others said it was the presence of Saint Modwenna punishing those who broke the Commandments, though Jack couldn’t say why a Saint would attack those out in the forest. Worse thing was, he thought to himself, if it was the Blessed Saint then he was doomed if she found him. He had never been one for observing the Commandments.

Thing was, this White Lady was real enough, Ben had sworn it, and he’d never known the boy lie.

He scratched at his head again. The prioress seemed lost in her own thoughts and the horses, tied to a nearby tree, were quiet enough. James was taking his own sweet time though.

“Jack come ‘ere.”

He looked at the Prioress but she hadn’t reacted. The other guard’s voice had seemed odd, no more than a whisper. He might have seen something in the trees, something that had forced him to lower his voice. Maybe he had caught sight of brigands in the woods. Warder picked up his rough handled knife and moved to the edge of the clearing.

“James, James Goldborough, where are you?” He hissed.

The shadow touched his mind again and whispered “Over ‘ere Jack.” To Warder it sounded like Goldborough, though he wasn’t to know that his friend lay dead amongst the trees.

Warder moved further into the forest, away from the light of the fire, fear gripping his stomach. Damn the boy, he thought, what sort of game was he playing? Tree branches caught at his clothing, tugging at him in the dark, and scraped across his rough face. A sound made him whirl around, cracking his head on a low branch. He swore lightly, it had been an owl. As he rubbed his sore skull he realised that he had left his helm at the camp.

“Goldborough?” His voice was stretched, barely audible above the frantic pounding of his own heart.

James Goldborough did not reply.

“What the hell…” He thought he saw a shadow flitting through the undergrowth, but then rationalised that it was just the thin moonlight moving through the swaying branches. Even so his hand gripped the knife tightly, his knuckles white.

“To Hell with you Goldborough, enough of your games.” He said almost too loudly. He turned to move back to the camp.

He glimpsed her for just a second before the talon like fingernails ripped his throat. Enough time for him to recognise the White Lady. Enough time for his feverish mind to realise that he had been right to believe Ben and for a stream of urine to soil his dirty grey hose.

He fell to the floor, clutching the gapping hole in his throat, blood spraying through his fingers and spilling onto the forest floor. Unable to make a sound.
Unable to warn his charge.

The shadow flitted towards the clearing.

At the edge of the clearing, outside the light flickering from the fire, she watched the Prioress. The older woman was praying, her fingers flickering over a set of ornate rosary beads.

The shadow circled around until it stood behind the Prioress, head still bent in prayer. She edged closer and closer until she stood directly above the nun. Her white fingers, stained red with Jack Warder’s blood, reached out slowly and then gently pulled back the wimple.

The Prioress’ eyes shot open; she twisted around to see a young girl, beautiful and yet so pale of skin. She was about to ask the girl her name when the girl’s mouth opened and she saw the fangs and the luminescent flash of red in the girl’s eyes.

She lifted the rosary, holding the tiny crucifix up to the devil, for devil it surely must have been. “God preserve me… I beg of you Lord, preserve your servant.”

The vampire laughed, the woman was absolutely sincere in her prayer, sincere in both her will to live and her belief that her God would protect her. She took the rosary from the Prioress’ hand and looked at it for a moment before throwing it to one side. “Which God would that be?” She asked the trembling nun, and then she struck, her fangs burying deep into the older woman’s neck.

For a moment the Prioress felt the touch of paradise. She sank into the vampire’s embrace willingly, offering up her life.

The horses panicked, neighing and whinnying franticly, pulling back at the ropes that tied them and kicking back into the night, kicking naught but air, or each other. One of them managed to break its head collar and ran into the night, neighing furiously.

The vampire ignored the horses and fed.



Two nights later the new Prioress of Kirklees arrived at her post, her habit stained from her travels, her ornate rosary clutched in her hands.

Her appearance took the nuns aback at first. She was so much younger than they had expected and she was also a day late. They asked her where her escorts had gone, concerned that she should have travelled the roads alone. Her escorts had been forced to return to their Lord with all haste after ensuring she was safe, she explained. Surely the nuns had seen the horsemen galloping off down the road. One remembered that she had and then another. Foolish men, thought one, always rushing here and there. They should have come in for the night, rested and returned to their Lord on the morrow.

Within hours Danaan had settled into the Prioress’ room, leaving explicit orders that she was extremely fatigued and was not to be disturbed the following day.

The happenings around town

Jennifer Armintrout, author of the Blood Series is running a hilarious commentary/review on the Vampire Diaries TV show.

This is old, but absolutely hilarious. It's a little hard to navigate through, but Smart Bitches Trashy Books does a chapter by chapter summary of Dark Lover by J.R. Ward.

Bitten by Books is doing a 31 Days of Dark Delights

The Mystery of The Haunted Vampire is posting chapters of his book.


Be sure to check in with other authors and bloggers participating in my Halloween event too!


October Events: (originally posted by Suburban Vampire)
KCon (Sherrilyn Kenyon Convention): October 9-11 - New Orleans, LA
Vampires Rock: October 14 - Bournemouth, UK
Bram Stoker International Film Festival: October 16-19 - Whitby, England
Festival of the Dead: October - Salem, MA
The Vampires' Masquerade Ball: October 23 - Salem, MA
Vampire Film Series and Festival: October 23-26 - New Orleans, LA
The Transylvanian Ball: October 24 - Portland, OR
Vampire Ball: October 24 - Flint, MI
Queen of the Damned Ball: October 30 - New Orleans, LA
Hallowhedon: October 30-November 1 - Heathrow, UK
Flight of the Vampire Race: October 31 - Brevard, NC


Vampire Film Festival has announced their international movie line-up

The 4- Day Vampire Festival slated for Oct. 23- 26 will showcase films, a vampire ballet, a New Orleans Jazz Style Funeral and a French Quarter scavenger hunt.

Over 50 films will screen from over 11 countries this month in New Orleans. Vampire Fest has declared 2009 the Year of the International Vampire and will screen films from Japan, Spain, France, Italy, Norway, Austria, Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom. We will screen films that could be classified in the context of vampire, supernatural, the bizarre, the grotesque, the mysterious or the desolate. The legend of the werewolf is interconnected with that of vampire and Vampire Fest is open to films of the Gothic, zombie, werewolf or ghost genre.

“This will mark Vampire Fest’s first time in NOLA!” Mary Beth Romig, Director of Public Relations and Communications for the New Orleans Convention and Visitors Bureau, recently declared, “We are excited to welcome the Vampire Film Festival to what we think is the perfect city for showcasing this genre. With our reputation for being one of America's most haunted cities and our rich history, we feel our city will be the perfect backdrop for the festival this year and for many years to come, adding another exciting and unique festival to the line up of great events in New Orleans."

The lineup screening at the Zeitgeist Multi-Disciplinary Arts Center is as follows (tickets are now on sale at www.vampirefest.com):
Oct. 23rd, the Australian short, 1271, opens the festival with a 3:00 p.m. screening.

1271 is followed by the feature film, The Kiss, the story of a high school outcast who heeds the pleas of Santa Maria, the queen of the Snake Clan of Vampires, who has been left for dead under a neighborhood house by her archrival. Unfortunately, after our hero brings Santa Maria back to life with the blood of neighborhood pets, she begins feeding on his high school friends.

At 5 p.m., Vampire Fest presents a series of Gothic shorts including Rakthavira, Dreams, The Music of Eric Zahn, Electra Zen Suite from Italy and The Ward.

The opening night films at 7:30 p.m. include Sucker and Shadowland, the story of a young woman left for dead who encounters a young man who might be her savior or her killer.

At 10 p.m. Vampire Fest will screen the Kathryn Bigelow classic, Near Dark, the tale of a mid-western farm boy reluctantly becomes a member of the undead when a girl he meets turns out to be part of a band of southern vampires who roam the highways in stolen cars.
The Midnight Screening will begin with a costume contest with prizes followed by a program of selected shorts includes Canadian Anime, The Urge, CannibAlien from Japan, Childhood Fears, Exposure, Bloodrayne, Nosferajew . The evening concludes with Blood Bound. All midnight screenings during the festival will include surprises, and some live entertainment.

Oct. 24th, the program commences at 2:00 p.m. with a series of international vampire shorts including Forgotten Sunrise, from Norway, Here Lies Lucy: A Vampire, from the United Kingdom, Killer from Australia, D’Entre Les Morts from France, Blood Sisters from Austria and Bad Reception from Australia.

At 4:30 p.m., Vampire Fest presents the award-winning feature, The Revenant, a story about an ancient pestilence recurring in modern society that turns the infected into moldy, putrefying, living corpses
The screening is followed at 7:00 p.m. by the Canadian feature, The Death of Alice Blue, the story of Alice, the creative young intern at Raven Advertising, a firm run by vampires and the Canadian short, Initiation.

At 9:30 p.m. Vampire Fest will present a series of mythic-themed short films including College Video #13, Hellcat & Tala, Trojans, and the mythic feature Mangal Sutra,

Wear your costumes to the Midnight Screening! Vampire Fest is hosting a costume contest complete with prizes then screening an eclectic mix of short films including the Gothic-themed The Blind Date of Coffin Jose, vampire-themed Spanish short, Sweet Blood and mythic-themed short films, Nights Moves and Shrove Tuesday from the United Kingdom. The program ends with a musical short from Samoa, Vauville Dead.

Oct. 25th, the screenings begin at 5:30 p.m. with the Gothic Shorts series, Morella, X-Mess Detritus, A Hammer Fell In Jerusalem, One Dark Night, Café and The Fine Art of Poisoning, a music video by chanteuse, Jill Tracy.

The program begins again at 9:30 p.m. with more vampire short films including Vampire Killers, The Union, Third Shift Mr. Moonlight, and Diaries of a Teenage Vampire. The short series ends with a musical short by Gothic chanteuse Jill Tracy, Haunted by the Thought of You.

Vampire Fest presents a cult favorite at the midnight show, the feature, Nadja, filmmaker Michael Almereyda’s take on the Dracula myth set in urban New York.

Oct. 26th, at 2:00 p.m., Vampire Fest screens the vampire short, Now That You’re Dead followed by the British vampire feature, Strigoi, a unique feature set in a post-communist Romanian village and introduces us to an ancient myth, the Strigoi, souls that rise again after death to seek justice if they have been wronged, their appetites intensified by a hunger for blood.

4:30 p.m., Vampire Fest presents a Gothic double header, Grotesque followed by the feature film, Let Me Die Quietly, a neo-noir thriller in which a brilliant psychiatrist, a beautiful seductress, and a jaded detective unexpectedly crash into the disturbed world of a death-obsessed loner.

The winning entries from the Hunted Contest will be screened at 7:00 pm and audience favorites.

Since vampire literature is interconnected with the movie genre, stretch your mind with best selling writers at Vamp Lit. Vampire Fest will present a literary panel on Sunday, October 25th starting at 2 pm at the Zeitgeist. Writer Sue Dent will be moderating the event that will feature best-selling writer Erin McCarthy, graphic novelist Van Jensen and Louisiana’s own, Nicole Peeler. These established and debut novelists will be happy to detail what it's like to be a part of the astoundingly popular world of vampire and shape-shifter fiction.

This panel will be followed by a Shoot Louisiana Panel in conjunction with the New Orleans Film Commission. With filmmakers invited from around the world this would be a perfect time to introduce them to the great filmmaker incentive programs in Louisiana.

Both panels end with the Film/Lit Mixer where new and established writers and filmmakers can mingle in the Absinthe Den presented by Le Tourment Vert and craft films for next years festival!

Pull out your cape, slip on your fangs and join the Big Easy’s undead film fanatics at the Zeitgeist Multi-Disciplinary Arts Center on October 23rd,
24th, 25th and 26th. Zeitgeist has long been the hub of alternative arts scene in New Orleans and is located on 1618 Oretha Castle Haley
Boulevard, New Orleans.

For more information, call Vampire Fest New Orleans at (504) 298-VAMP or visit our official site, www.vampirefilmfestival.com, an intriguing and provocative door to supernatural based media.

Purchase your tickets now at www.vampirefilmfestival.com! $6.00 in advance, $8.00 at the door.