Bullet

I did it again. I read another Anita Blake book. Intervention anyone? They are so bad, yet they are such a guilty pleasure. And Bullet, released June 2010, is a lot better than Flirt, which was released just a few months prior. Flirt just seems like a little novella to accent the rest of the books (although I'm not sure how much accenting was actually done).

Bullet has all of the recent Anita drama - orgies, Marmee Noir, bad guys, new guys, etc., but LKH added a little plot twist about the were lions. Honestly, it seemed like most of this book was just orgies, all the sex scenes had at least 3-4 people, or maybe not "people."

The storyline still centers around Anita being all powerful, or at least the progression of her getting to be so. But, I hate to admit it, but I ALMOST, NEARLY got teary eyed (note: there was no watering of the eyes, just almost), during a part... and oddly maybe a second scene as well.

Still, I do not care for the fashions or styling of the books. A see through dress is NOT a must have for this season, ankle-length hair is not sex, and regular black jeans? The only black jeans I ever see are skinny jeans on teenagers. I think authors should start paying more attention to what's in style (Pam - this is a nod for your character as well). It's really minor, but for whatever reason, it bugs me.

Speaking of things that bug me, there was a side plot to this story that was kind of annoying. SPOILER - She gets a call for cop business, there is some bad vampire stuff in another state, she tells them how to deal with it, they deal with it, the end. It was almost an after thought, and didn't quite fit.

I am a bit disapointed that there isn't a show or movie coming out. The first Anita books would be great to see on TV. Here's LKH talking about... old news, but forgive me, I'm behind!

Bitter Things

If you remember, some time ago I listened to a radio interview with Andrew Valentine, author of Bitter Things a novel of love, sex, memory, and blood. I was intrigued by Valentine's theories on vampires so I was interested in reading his new vampire book.

Michelle and Scott are a married couple, very much in love, despite Scott's baggage from his childhood. One night they decide to take things to the next level: they invite a beautifully seductive woman to share their bed. Mysteriously, Scott and the woman are no where to be found when Michelle wakes up.

Michelle will stop at nothing to find Scott, but is Scott strong enough to survive the evil that has taken him?

Bitter Things is not your typical frilly vampire romance. It's not just a sappy love story with fangs. Bitter Things explores the deepest and darkest corners of dark desires and control. Torture, sex, control and sacrafice; what would you do for the one you love?

Bitter Things also differs from various romance novels in the fact that it has substance, gritty, dark substance. The plot does not take you on a crash course in "love at first sight, sex, fight, sex, happy ending" there is much more involved in the story line.

I honestly had trouble reading through it quickly, or even getting through some parts of it at all. I was angry and frustrated at characters and events and some parts I thought were even a little frightening and disturbing. This book was a nice break from the usual sugary-sweet books I have been reading.

I thought the book was a quality dark erotic thriller. The storyline and characters were all well thought out and well executed. You won't find puppy dogs and prince charming vampires in this story.

Michelle must work hard to find Scott, and Scott has to work even harder to keep himself. Will they find a miracle to be together once again? Will their love concur evil? You must read Bitter Things yourself to find out!

Don't forget to check out Valentine's awesome Bitter Things Website as well.

How the Vampire Boom Really Began

How the Vampire Boom Really Began - Copy and Pasted From NPR'S Monkey See

[As our story opens, the year is 2003.]

To: VampsPRFr: FritzRe: PR issues

PR Team,
As we talked about last week at the annual retreat, it seems like we haven't made a significant PR push in quite some time. Buffy THE TRAMP LIAR-SAYER has finally gone off the air, but we are at a cultural crossroads. Vampires need to be the "next big thing." Ideas? Thx.


To: Fritz, VampsPRFr: SteveRe: Re: PR issues

Fritzie,
I've heard that an up and coming novelist is planning a romance series (set in the Pacific Northwest, I believe) in which a girl is caught between a werewolf and a clown. I'm wondering whether, with proper outreach, she could be persuaded to replace the werewolf with a vampire. I think a battle for the heart of a young woman between a vampire and a clown could be very compelling and could help change our image with young women. Thoughts?


To: Steve, VampsPRFr: FritzRe: Re: Re: PR issues

Steve,
Do it. Please report back. Thx.


To: Fritz, VampsPRFr: SteveRe: Discussion w/SM

Fritzie,
Talks went well. Very promising. She's receptive. Interesting twist. She suggests using the vampire in place of the clown instead. Werewolf/vampire face-off. What say you?


To: SteveFr: FritzRe: Re: Discussion w/SM

Steve,
That's fine if that's what she wants. Vampire/werewolf seems like an unfair fight, as readers cannot be expected to believe a werewolf could compete with the innate sex appeal of a vampire. Clown might seem like more worthy romantic opponent, based on perception (false, in my experience) that clowns have a great sense of humor, but again, if that's what she thinks, it's certainly worth a try. Thx.


To: FritzFr: SteveRe: Small edit

Fritzie,
As you know, the manuscript we saw last week has been returned to SM with edits. I'm having difficulty selling her on your idea, even though I like it. She seems to think that having the vampire (currently named Booger, but that's not final) sparkle in the sunlight might come across as, as she put it, "over the top." She's also having some trouble shifting entirely away from some of the aesthetics she originally had planned for Booger as far as his look; we are working on it. Still negotiating re: this point.


To: SteveFr: FritzRe: Re: Small edit

In retrn 4 sparkles, will accept red lipstick orig. 4 clown. Plz change Booger. Thx.
[From my Blackberry]


To: FritzFr: SteveRe: Book performance

Fritzie,
As you know, the book is now a runaway success. There will be more. Also tentative upcoming HBO show TRUE BLOOD based on those Snookie (?) books your wife likes, and a deal with the CW (it's the "fifth network") for a show called VAMPIRE DIARIES. Sounds super sexy. All looks good.


To: SteveFr: FritzRe: VERY VERY UPSET

Now seeing ads for Vampires Suck. "Suck"? What's going on in PR? Lead of this movie appears to be takeoff of Edward/Booger character, seems to be making vampires into jokes. VAMPIRES ARE NOT IRONIC, STEVE. Parody/irony are bad for our sense of menace. Also hearing MTV plans new Teen Wolf. Where is our marketing plan? Where is our response? I expect to meet with you and the team in the conference room at 10:30. BRING NEW IDEAS. THX.

Flirt

So, I gave in and checked out Laurell K Hamilton’s one of the newer Anita Blake books – Flirt. Honestly, until I looked up the book to include the hyperlink, I didn't realize there was Bullet - a book that is much longer, released about a month later. Where does that one fit in? I've been out of the loop.

I was a big fan of her early work – and then joined the “WTF happened?!” club. Now it’s just bad. It’s really just orgies, and Anita being all badass and emasculating men and being undefeatable. Yet I still read them. It’s a guilty pleasure. I’m a little infatuated with some of the male characters, after I imagine they don’t have really long hair that Hamilton has portrayed them with (a man with ankle length hair? Not sexy).

Last year's book, Skin Trade, I thought things were getting better. There was only like, 2 sex scenes in the whole book! And it’s not even really about the sex. If the story line is good and the sex emphasized the story, and added a little flair, fine. But it is just over the top. And remember Micah?, that was bad. It was a little novella. A mere side story. Flirt was the same way! It was less than 160 pages. I read it over my lunch hour! It was practically a short story. And not a good one at that.

Here’s the story line (spoiler alert!)

Anita turns down a rich guy – she won’t raise his wife, can’t raise her to be real.
Anita goes out and flirts and Hamilton makes things really awkward between her 3 guy friends.
Anita turns down a rich lady – she won’t raise her husband so she can ax murder him.
Anita goes to lunch at the same place, has awkward flirting with the waiter.
Anita is taken by two lions.
Her lion wants to mate with them.
They manage to make it over to the rich guys’ house – he hired them to threaten Anita and all that.
Her lion wants to mate with them again.
Anita gets hurt.
Anita must get power to heal – Anita must have sex
Anita takes power over lion #2 by having sex with him.
Things get a little violent
Anita raises the wife – but there is a ton of power
Anita raises lots more zombies.
Anita has zombies kill the rich guy.
Anita’s guys come to the rescue
Anita takes lion home with her.

The End.

They barely talk about Jean Claude, and only mention Asher in passing. None of the other characters barely even have roles in the book. It’s just all-powerful Anita. Like always. But Hamilton did work in Anita crying in there… you know, to show you that she is more than just a tough gal.

Hamilton also included an intro and an ending “how I come up with ideas” portion… probably to make the book longer because it’s pretty obvious she is running out of material and had to meet a deadline.