Bullet

I did it again. I read another Anita Blake book. Intervention anyone? They are so bad, yet they are such a guilty pleasure. And Bullet, released June 2010, is a lot better than Flirt, which was released just a few months prior. Flirt just seems like a little novella to accent the rest of the books (although I'm not sure how much accenting was actually done).

Bullet has all of the recent Anita drama - orgies, Marmee Noir, bad guys, new guys, etc., but LKH added a little plot twist about the were lions. Honestly, it seemed like most of this book was just orgies, all the sex scenes had at least 3-4 people, or maybe not "people."

The storyline still centers around Anita being all powerful, or at least the progression of her getting to be so. But, I hate to admit it, but I ALMOST, NEARLY got teary eyed (note: there was no watering of the eyes, just almost), during a part... and oddly maybe a second scene as well.

Still, I do not care for the fashions or styling of the books. A see through dress is NOT a must have for this season, ankle-length hair is not sex, and regular black jeans? The only black jeans I ever see are skinny jeans on teenagers. I think authors should start paying more attention to what's in style (Pam - this is a nod for your character as well). It's really minor, but for whatever reason, it bugs me.

Speaking of things that bug me, there was a side plot to this story that was kind of annoying. SPOILER - She gets a call for cop business, there is some bad vampire stuff in another state, she tells them how to deal with it, they deal with it, the end. It was almost an after thought, and didn't quite fit.

I am a bit disapointed that there isn't a show or movie coming out. The first Anita books would be great to see on TV. Here's LKH talking about... old news, but forgive me, I'm behind!

Flirt

So, I gave in and checked out Laurell K Hamilton’s one of the newer Anita Blake books – Flirt. Honestly, until I looked up the book to include the hyperlink, I didn't realize there was Bullet - a book that is much longer, released about a month later. Where does that one fit in? I've been out of the loop.

I was a big fan of her early work – and then joined the “WTF happened?!” club. Now it’s just bad. It’s really just orgies, and Anita being all badass and emasculating men and being undefeatable. Yet I still read them. It’s a guilty pleasure. I’m a little infatuated with some of the male characters, after I imagine they don’t have really long hair that Hamilton has portrayed them with (a man with ankle length hair? Not sexy).

Last year's book, Skin Trade, I thought things were getting better. There was only like, 2 sex scenes in the whole book! And it’s not even really about the sex. If the story line is good and the sex emphasized the story, and added a little flair, fine. But it is just over the top. And remember Micah?, that was bad. It was a little novella. A mere side story. Flirt was the same way! It was less than 160 pages. I read it over my lunch hour! It was practically a short story. And not a good one at that.

Here’s the story line (spoiler alert!)

Anita turns down a rich guy – she won’t raise his wife, can’t raise her to be real.
Anita goes out and flirts and Hamilton makes things really awkward between her 3 guy friends.
Anita turns down a rich lady – she won’t raise her husband so she can ax murder him.
Anita goes to lunch at the same place, has awkward flirting with the waiter.
Anita is taken by two lions.
Her lion wants to mate with them.
They manage to make it over to the rich guys’ house – he hired them to threaten Anita and all that.
Her lion wants to mate with them again.
Anita gets hurt.
Anita must get power to heal – Anita must have sex
Anita takes power over lion #2 by having sex with him.
Things get a little violent
Anita raises the wife – but there is a ton of power
Anita raises lots more zombies.
Anita has zombies kill the rich guy.
Anita’s guys come to the rescue
Anita takes lion home with her.

The End.

They barely talk about Jean Claude, and only mention Asher in passing. None of the other characters barely even have roles in the book. It’s just all-powerful Anita. Like always. But Hamilton did work in Anita crying in there… you know, to show you that she is more than just a tough gal.

Hamilton also included an intro and an ending “how I come up with ideas” portion… probably to make the book longer because it’s pretty obvious she is running out of material and had to meet a deadline.

Twilight Drinking Games

This is long over-due. Below or some drinking game rules if ever you are forced to watch Twilight or just want to get drunk with a bad movie you can easily make fun of. Lists are compiled through conversation and various other sites.

Remember - never drink and drive and don't drink if you are under the age of when you can legally drink. Be safe folks :)

Twilight Drinking Game: Will need a sober driver or to stay at home

Take a drink every time Bella touches her hair
Take a drink every time Edward looks constipated
Take a drink every time Bella looks constipated
Take a drink every time Edward says he is dangerous
Take a drink every time Bella bites or licks her lips
Take a drink every time Edward and Bella stare into each others eyes for more than 3 seconds
Take a drink every time Bella whines about something
Take a drink every time Bella trips - Take 2 if Edward saves her
Take a drink whenever Alice has a vision
Take a drink whenever Edward treats Bella like a child
Chug your drink when a vampire sparkles - don't stop until the sparkling does/you finish your drink
Take a drink every time Bella quotes a book/person
Take a drink every time Bella says/acts like she can't live without Edward
Take a drink every time Edward says something rude to Bella
Take a drink every time Jacob tries to get Bella's attention

Now, these are obviously just a few things you can drink to. So if you have to watch Twilight, at least be intoxicated and have fun doing so.

Click HERE for another funny drinking game for the Twilight book.
HERE is another Twilight drinking game.

Waiting for True Blood?

So if you don't already know, True Blood Season 3 premiers Sunday, June 13th.

If you haven't already watched the Pam and Eric minisode, here it is:

Minisode: Eric & Pam

For me it was almost too embarrassing to watch. Some parts were funny though.

The newest Sookie Book - Dead in the Family comes out May 5th. Amazon has it on sale for 10 bucks.

You can read the first chapter here.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!

Best of the Best?

Happy Wednesday to everyone. I recently came across an article titled

"Before Twilight: 14 Greatest Vampire Stories of All Time"

Now, I'm not entirely sure I agree with all of the list. What say you? (click the link for list details)

Books:

Dracula

Sookie Stackhouse

Anne Rice

Anita Blake

30 Days of Night

Blade

Salem's Lot

Vampire Academy

Movies:

Dracula

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Let the Right One In

The Lost Boys

I am Legend (I think this belongs in the books and not the movies)

Nosferatu

This list reminds me that I should create a "best" list of my own. So what do you guys think? What do you think are the best vampire movies and books? Anything on these lists that should not be on here?

I think I just may be a vampire book whore...

Excuse me for the language... but I have been thinking about my literary choices recently. It turns out I am easily pleased, even with bad books. There are not a lot of vampire books I have read and enjoyed, even those that I have "hated". Even though some of these books were extremely stereotypical, shallow, and predictable I was kept entertained.

So does this make me a vampire book whore or a vampire book glutton? Or maybe just a fan of vampire romance? Actually... I don't think I am ready to come to terms with that last question.

Give me a vampire book with a female protagonist, a mystery to be solved, a little action, a hunky tortured vampire, and a little sex and I am pretty much satisfied.... yikes I'm easy.

It seems that as long as I can use the story line and the hot vamp as "fantasy" material I am a happy camper and will keep on reading the book. *Grimace*

Or maybe my love of vampire books is similar to that of some people's love of reality TV? Or Soap Operas?

Or perhaps more accurately; junk food. It tastes so good, yet it's just so bad for you.

Saturday Halloween Costume Search

Halloween is fast approaching! Have you got your costume yet? If you are thinking about being a vampire, there are lots of cliche options out there for you - just do a Google Image Search and you will see - most of them are black and maroon in color, capes, short skirts, and sometimes high collars. If you aren't looking for anything specific, more often than not, if you are male, then you are going to wear black slacks, white shirt, and a black and red cape... don't forget to slick your hair back, apply some white make-up and wear some fangs.

Here are some ideas for males:
Go as a specific vampire character - how about David from The Lost Boys? or spoof Edward from Twilight - just wear a brooding look all night, mess up your hair and apply some glitter and fangs.
Or how about Count Chocula? You can even eat the cereal all night to keep up with appearances.

And if you are female, well, add some fishnets, a corset, and some fangs and you have yourself a vampire... you can pretty much slut-up and goth-ify any costume and just add fangs and you are a vampire. Although this costume still fits those categories, it's a little different than the usual. Looking around I also found a bad photoshop job turned different vamp costume - the vampire Marilyn Monroe. Us girls, I think we have it easier than the guys for vamp costumes - we can really choose any costume, show some skin and wear some fangs and we are a vampire. I know I am guilty of wearing the above mentioned attire and slapping on some fangs.

For those of you who have, or planned to wear the vamp fangs - what costume did you, or have you gone with?

The Vampire Survival Guide

While most of us love the mysterious and sexy vampire - who is sweet on the inside and a bad boy on the outside, chances are, if vampires existed they probably wouldn't be the type you would want to run way with. The Vampire Survival Guide: How to Fight, and Win, Against the Undead by Scott Bowen is here to do just as it promises - to fight and win against the undead.

On a side rant, before I continue, you will notice that Scott Bowen has no link attached to his name - because I could not find a blog, website, or a social networking site on him... which I think is inexcusable. There is no point these days for a business or author to not be available online. Free advertising! Ok. I'm done.

The Vampire Survival Guide is a fun, gimmicky book - one of those funny things you get a friend for a gift, scan through the pages reading about this or that and probably keep it on your bookshelf - probably not ever completely read through. Sadly, it is quite easy to give as a gift because it's selling price, new, on Amazon is $2.47. That being said, I will admit that I didn't read the whole thing page for page... I did scan through several times and read some entertaining excerpts. The book covers vampire anatomy and power structure through how to kill them, and is filled with random questions (like can a vampire dog bite my dog and turn it into a vampire dog too?). If I didn't already own this book I would buy it for $2.47. It's a good book for a vampire fan... not exactly 100% following popular myth and legend, but fun none-the-less. Here is an excerpt that I found entertaining (page 156):

Random Question: What if my spouse/significant other fantasizes about a relationship with a vampire?

Vampires have a strong sexual element, both in a literary sense and in person, assuming that the vampire in question looks a lot like Antonio Banderas in Interview with the Vampire or Monica Bellucci in Bram Stoker's Dracula (yeah, she was in that). Indeed, there will be some really hot vampires. Your spouse's fixation, however, could easily go beyond the imagination: He or she could desire some kind of self-destructive tryst with the undead.

Psychologists and psychotherapists will have all fled to their second homes in gated communities in Martha's Vineyard and the Caribbean, so finding professional help will be out of the questions. (Yes, some dedicated psychotherapists will stay in the country, and they'll be swamped with calls and will probably get turned into vampires anyway.) So, you'll have to deal with it yourself.

First, to what degree does your spouse fantasize? Is this a true fantasy, that is, does she know it's ludicrous, but indulges it in a wholly fantastical way? That's merely insulting, not real trouble (for now). Do what you can to shift her undead fantasies to the killer of the undead (you), and you'll find yourself getting some hot lovin'. Maybe dress a little more provocatively, and shoot vampires more than you need to (ammo store providing). Get a little aggressive. Show your passion. Cut off a vampire's head and nail it to the wall, and make sure your spouse sees you do it. She'll slowly realize that the desired fantasy figure is the person of action - a dangerous person (not an undead person) and you're it.

But if you spouse really has it in for a vampire, in a psychotic way, you might have to resort in some extralegal actions. This will involve duct tape. Figure it out.

I think most of us like the vampires capable of fulfilling our fantasies. Tomorrow tune in for a guest blog about why it's a good idea to date vampires.

True Blood Season 2: Delayed but Here

Yes I am a slacker – but I don’t have HBO (let alone cable) so I have to mooch off the few (2 people) that I know have HBO… which isn’t easy. So this weekend I vegged out at my dad’s house and caught up, watching episodes 7-12.

So here’s what happened (and what didn’t happen in the book) – spoilers.

Fellowship of the Sun try to kill Sookie and Eric… and Godric and Bill, and then Jason (partially book plot oriented – Sookie escapes with the help of a were who has infiltrated the system, causing more drama. PS. Godric is not a hero in the book, he is an ancient child molestor or something)

Texas vampires come to kick-ass – Godric stops anything from happening and everyone goes home… Texas vampires have a party (never happened in the book)

Jason’s FoS rival acts as a suicide bomber and stops the vamp party (partially book oriented – was a fire fight, not a bomb)

Eric tricks Sookie to sucking silver out of him (in the book it was a bullet)

Mary Ann gets people into more trouble (Mary Ann character is nothing like the book)

Sam gets framed for murder (not in the book, nor is the following)

Mary Ann possessed the whole town

Hoyt and new vampire girl get into a fight (this plot isn’t in the book at all either)

Sookie gets captured

We meet Sophie-Ann – Queen of Louisiana, apparently an avid Yahtzee fan.

Bill and Sam find a way to kill Sophie Ann

Poor Sam

Miss new vampire is getting herself into trouble

Bill and Sookie go on a date

Bill proposes

Bill gets kidnapped.


Being an big Charlain Harris/Sookie Book fan I was PISSED about the ending – thought is was absolutely stupid. Bill should not be proposing… they break up in the book! Book 3 in the series does have Bill being kidnapped though. It should be interesting how season 3 goes!

True Blood - Season 2 Episode 1 - No Longer Following the Sookie Books

OK, so after watching the second season premier of True Blood, it might be much easier to list the things that were similar in book 2 that appeared in the TV show versus what WASN’T the same. Pretty much everything in the episode had nothing to do with book two; which was extremely disappointing – especially the whole Lafayette debacle. How the heck are they going to work that one out?

I am becoming more and more disappointed in the show. I really need to work on separating in my mind the book and the TV show because they are so different, especially leading into season 2.

Beware of spoilers if you haven’t read Living Dead in Dallas but here are some differences between book and show:

· Lafayette is dead in Andy’s car – not the phony exorcist that never even existed to begin with.
· Mary Ann does not exist in the capacity she does on the show – she makes a couple brief appearances but not in the form of “Mary Ann” and she certainly does not have some rich demented half-way house – nor does Tara even meet her – except at the end LDID.
· Because Bill never killed Long Shadow to begin with (ERIC DID), he certainly did not have to make a young and annoying vampire – who also doesn’t exist… at all.
· Sookie’s uncle died “falling down the stairs” I’m pretty sure she found out about this in book one though, and both her and her brother received and inheritance.
· Jason never comes close to joining Fellowship of the sun.
· Sam had a happy childhood and was never abandoned or resorted to stealing and "Mary Ann" certainly didn’t take his virginity.
· Because Lafayette dies in the beginning on book 2 he is never tortured by Eric
· Eric does not need to highlight his hair

I will be very upset if Eric doesn’t attend an orgy with Sookie and if he doesn’t take care of her when she gets hurt in Texas. At least episode was more entertaining than last season.

Any one else have any thoughts/complaints?

And don' forget to enter to win Tanya Huff's Blood Ties!

Ok, I will admit it may be getting a little old...maybe not

Oh how I love Lost Boys.

All pictures from ROFLRAZZI.COM

Breaking Up with a Book Series

Smart Bitches Trashy Books wrote a great post that has some great comments about when/why you break up with a series, or why you don't.

Whose series were most noted?
J.R. Ward
Sherrilyn Kenyon
Laurell K Hamilton
Christine Feehan
Charlaine Harris
Janet Evanovich
Mary Janice Davis

Obviously it's no suprise that a ton of people have broke up with Anita Blake... which got me thinking... I don't think I ever really break up with these series, I am just not as urgent to read them. I know the Blake books have become trash, yet I can't help to read them. I think I am actually kind of looking forward to the next book coming out even though I feel bad for wanting to read it. I still have hopes it might get better. I won't buy it the day it comes out - I may just wait until my library gets it.

I won't name the unlisted series, but when my favorite character got killed off, I am having a hard time wanting to read the new books. I went to Barnes & Noble yesterday to buy it, even though it had been out since February and decided not to when I found out I would have to pay over 27 dollars for it - it just wasn't worth it.

Some people are getting to the point of wanting to quit Sookie, but I have found that I still very much enjoy them (and Eric of course) so next may I will be in line the day it comes out at the time the store opens. Now if they killed of Eric, I probably wouldn't be that interested in reading about Sookie, and I would be quite angry. I would probably eventually buy the book afterwards (if ever that did occur which I pray it won't).

I also found that the Tanya Huff series ended a book later than it should have. SPOILER ALERT - it just wasn't worth reading after she was turned. Sometimes books are hard to continue reading when you read 5 that focus around a chase and book 6 the get what they were looking for - well book 7 gets a bit boring.

What makes you break up with a book or lose interest?

Don't You Hate It When Life Gets in the Way?

I hang my head in shame thinking of how much I have abandoned this blog as of late.
I also have to wait until Friday or Saturday to Dead and Gone .... which I am quite sad about.
I didn't think being married would take up so much of my time; foolish I know.

I do have some treats coming up though!
Stay tuned for a chance to win some True Blood jewelry that I am in the process of finishing.
Are you team Bill or Eric?

And.... to leave you with something that disturbed and confused me (from Flickr Lurkr)

View the whole photo stream here.

Twihard Fans Getting Violent?

Geekologie just posted a crazy entry about a forum in which crazy Twilight fans have attacked Twilight haters - "anti's" some stories are pretty crazy.

Here is the original article.
Here is the attack-directory.

Some stories include a guy getting his face burned with acid and a 17 year old killing a 7 year old's goldfish.

Twilight the Board Game? Really?

Image from Perez.
There's always ways to make more money I guess.





View original article here.

Felted Bella's Womb - Um, yeah

The boy pointed me to this gem.... if that's what you want to call it:

The Geekologie documented a Twi-hard fan who felted Bella's womb

Non-Vampire Spam "Poems"

This has nothing to do with vampires or the paranormal, but I had to post this somewhere. These are four "poems" that came from spam email that didn't make it to my filter....

But to act in it. And since our pilgrim's meal i like mrsdolly, said gatty, thoughtfully she and had kicked it intothe gutter as though it design renders it difficult to forma conclusion then it suddenly struck me that the man might.

Happiness. Even the earthly wealth he earns becomes fun,and i'll pay, of course. Let's have a last sheiling tillthe morning. I will not! Hamish proof that mr. Butler wasconcerned in the disappearance century nor were its nineteenchapels, the works.

The mailclad footsoldiers, there was none that the objectthat has brought me here is to acquire of gold are saidto be givers of all things Indeed, paradou. 'look at it!ah! It is your eyes that much about emancipation as is knownto thee, o.

He that is well suited to the offerings made unto remainedin them with a soul that had lost all ones, children, anddiverse kinds of bliss, will ii. 81. For the epicurean friendshipscf. Esp. Bravely with the huge billows, but not making.

Much Scarier than Vampires...

So Horrifying...

Twilight Gossip

Thanks to Suburban Vampire, I found that it seems like Stephen King didn't have very nice things to say about Stephenie Meyer. USA Weekend Blog had an interview with Stephen King and here is what he had to say about Meyer:

Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."

But then King recalls that when his mom was alive, she read all the Erle Stanley Gardner books, the Perry Mason mysteries, obsessively when he was growing up. "He was a terrible writer, too, but he was very successful," King says. "Somebody who’s a terrific writer who’s been very, very successful is Jodi Picoult. You’ve got Dean Koontz, who can write like hell. And then sometimes he’s just awful. It varies. James Patterson is a terrible writer but he’s very very successful. People are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it’s very clear that she’s writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. It’s exciting and it’s thrilling and it's not particularly threatening because they’re not overtly sexual. A lot of the physical side of it is conveyed in things like the vampire will touch her forearm or run a hand over skin, and she just flushes all hot and cold. And for girls, that’s a shorthand for all the feelings that they’re not ready to deal with yet."

I find the comments left for the article the most entertaining. Isn't it always that way though? Most of the commentors do say that they aren't hating on Meyer's storytelling, but her writing... which some of her fans have already said "sucks."

Review - Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and Van Helsing

Friday we went to the opening of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. Our tickets were bought hours before the show in fear that it would be sold out. I guess there are less Underworld fans than I thought because the theater wasn't packed when we sat down 15 minutes before it started (we were busy eating ice cream). The theater wasn't empty, but certainly less people than I would have thought.

I'm sure everyone knows the basic plot of this prequel, so I will skip the summary.

Overall I quite enjoyed the movie; I only have a couple complaints:
1. Who created some of the vampire's outfits and what were they thinking? I didn't realize that painted on paints and bra tops were fashionable back then.
2. The vampires were a sorry bunch. Their fighting skills were pretty much non-existent.
3. To try not and spoil it, I will just say - why couldn't she go out the window?

I enjoyed the movie more than I thought I would. If I remembered the second Underworld I probably would say I enjoyed the prequel more. I think one of my favorite characters was Raze, writer, producer, and actor of Underworld; Kevin Grevioux. Lucian (Michael Sheen) was quite charming as well.




I also watched Van Helsing this weekend.

For old time sake, (and nothing was on TV) I watched Van Helsing. The last time I had seen this movie was when it was in the theaters. It was hard to watch again.

While I love Hugh Jackman and vampires and all that good stuff, sleep seemed more appealing than to finish the movie. The special effects are pretty bad and the acting (even if they are acting satirical) was kind of atrocious.