Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Explaining the Vampire Loving Women in Men's Health

So this month in Men's Health in the "Ask Men's Health" section, Dough from Baton Rouge LA asks the question:

Twilight, True Blood, Dracula -- what is it with women and vampires?

So Carolyn Kylstra, the "Ask the Girl Next Door" girl says this:

It's not all vampires, so slicking your hair back and donning a cape isn't a Halloween hookup ticket. It's the deeply tortured vampires - the ones oozing sexual energy because they've repressed their blood-lust instincts. (Like the "vegetarian" Edward Cullen.) They're reflective, passionate, and eternally faithful. Plus, they're played by guys like David Boreanaz and Stephen Moyer. Yum

Being a member of the Naked David Boreanaz Club I say amen to the yum part! Not quite sure I agree with her though... partly because of the Cullen comment (who the F*** thinks repeating high school is a good idea?) and partly because I don't think the whole obsession fascination stems from the instinct repressions.

Here's my theory (and it's not solidified yet - it's mainly thought vomit): first of all, sexy males are sexy males - a hunky tall, dark and handsome, human looking male is already starting off on a good foot. Then you add on the whole bad boy complex that so many women faint over - Mr. Bad isn't Bad, he is trust trouble, and YOU can help him in his darkest moments (blah blah blah). And here I agree with Kylstra - they are portrayed as passionate, reflective, faithful, hunks of love. They have put a wall up - and nothing has penetrated it - until you. Yes, you, a common female have shown the way of love to this dark, powerful, usually rich and intelligent creature, and he is eternally grateful, and will show you how grateful he is (and will continually give you thanks with passion and pleasure). Add a little blood and biting and eternal life and you add a bit of carnal pleasure, mystery and eliminate the fear of death. In real life these scenarios would never work - that's what makes them fantasy.

How can you not enjoy a hot vampire?


Jackie Uhrmacher said...

I can't for the life of me remember what magazine it was in, but I remember reading how males are becoming self-conscious because these vampiric heroes set too high of expectations. I find this hilarious because we women are expected to watch size 0 models with DDD breasts on the TV and still have a healthy self-image. It's like men are finally seeing how hard it is to live up to those standards!

Lindsay said...

Oh please! Silly men. Like women are going to threaten to leave their men if they aren't "vampiresh" enough. Besides, most of the sexy vampire guys we all love is because 1. yes they are attractive.... but they are also a bit of a bad boy... and here's the thing that gets a lot of attention.... they are passionate and committed! Besides, it's FANTASY! That would be us gals being concerned that men love mermaids too much... some things just can't be helped, lol.

Anthony Hogg said...

From what I gather, Lindsay, your argument is a combination of maternal instinct ("Mr. Bad isn't Bad, he is trust trouble, and YOU can help him in his darkest moments") and egotism ("Yes, you, a common female have shown the way of love to this dark, powerful, usually rich and intelligent creature")?

I guess we'll chuck in a desire for the unattainable/mystery ("In real life these scenarios would never work").

I think you just explained the female psyche in one fell swoop :P

Lindsay said...

Haha - yep. I think that just about covers it. But it is also said that women can never be understood fully, lol.